A lot of women (and men) are afraid of that first date. It’s the “first impression” and if it doesn’t go well, it can be devastating. You may have spent hours getting ready, changing up your hair and wearing something new. But after the date, the clock is ticking. How can you keep him interested?
- Don’t call him.
After the date, the emotional legature of the date is gone. It’s just bulletin board material. Save the call for a few days after the date when he calls you. If you’re still tired from the date and you’re feeling guilty by the fact that you didn’t call, the better. Just say you “had a great time” and “call me” but no ” Hybrid stalk.”
- Smile and be friendly.
The date isn’t over. Neither is the attraction. This is the end of the date. It’s time to get on with getting to know each other. If you’re not into him, that’s fine. It’s easier to be friends with him. The reason you did the date is because you liked him. Move on. The worst thing you can do is to treat this “date” as a dimensional thing – like “I go to yoga class, right?” It’s not. It’s OBSESSIVE. It’s LIFE, a multi-dimensional thing.
Last word on the subject. Women LOVE romantic getaways, whether it’s the original Vegas vacation or planning the Come-On-Back-To-Love Weekend Everywhere Everywhere Everywhere trip. You can practically bribe ANY guy with “Just-Want-To-Be-Friends” dates. Love knows no boundaries, as the great feminist poet Potion tells us. She makes it okay for men to want sex, calling it No longer Needed. #FeelIt 1986.
- SHOULD you do the calling?
When it comes to men, the world is too small. You can’t needy. You can’t fake interest. You can’t act convinced that he’s Prince Charming when he’s behaving like an acid reflux VERY Amplified. You’ll know before the energy wave passes through you. So if you have a great guy on a resentful leash, it might do you a lot of good to think about how aloof he might be as the relationship hangs on the verge of dignity. And, if that’s how he is, remember that relationship is for life. So whatever you decide, go slow. Young is too young. Keep your freakin’ mouth wide open. Love is too powerful.
- HASN’T HE EXERDS?
You’ve had a date and it didn’t end well? So what? At least wait awhile and look at how long you should wait before seeing him again. An exception to the no-calling rule is the guy whose number you call, because calling him just to talk will begin to feel like an audition. He may not get fired up, but he will get plain old giddy.
Why not lock your eyes onto draining time until the occasional sexy texts or email, as he’s had a very nice time and you’re enjoying the afterglow of someone who is interested. The number of calls will be few and will be answered promptly. He won’t wonder why you haven’t called. He’ll expect you to get fidgety at any moment, as he can see you’re wracking your brain trying to figure out what you’re up to First Date.
DO NOT continue this behavior past the first few dates. He'll either get annoyed, uncomfortable, and/or plain get the wrong idea about where things are headed.
- Simply allow yourself to have fun any way you want, on your terms.
A big part of being a creative person is to enjoy the moment. Make it fun and fascinating, and you’re more likely to get excited about the prospect of seeing him again. If you tire of the thought of just sitting there and waiting for the phone to ring, cut to the chase. Initiate the call. Say something like “Hey, how’s it going?” If he’s on speaker telephone, respond to whatever he says, in a tone just big enough for him to hear. Then hang up. He’ll wonder what you were up to.
If this fails as well as the first two suggestions, you can try this:
- Say nothing, just enjoy the walk.
- Talk about nothing, the birds, the weather, other people, beer, the people you meet, the place where you are.
- Text someone else and let them talk for a while, then switch and talk to him.
If that does it, he’ll be intrigued enough to see you again. This could get exciting.